I pray that this week, every one of us has had the chance to sit and listen to the wonderful story of the Saint who we commemorate on this 5th Sunday of Great Lent, St. Mary of Egypt. When we take a moment to hear her story, we are blown away by this women, who truly exemplified all of the virtues that we are aiming to acquire as we continue our journey towards the tomb!
Despite having the Grace to perform miracles like walking on water and levitating when she prayed, the virtue that stands out to us the most is that of St. Mary’s humility. We read how when she first came face to face with the Monk Zosima in the desert, despite being able to do all of these miraculous things, she fell on her face in front of him and would continually say: ”Bless me Father…bless me”. And this poor monk, who had never seen someone that was so filled with the Grace of God, could do nothing but stand there in awe at what he was seeing.
When we hear about St. Mary’s life, and what brought her out in the desert in the first place, we are shown in Great Lent what true repentance looks like. We remember that repentance isn’t just a word that we use when we feel bad for the wrongs that we have done in our life. Repentance is about change! St. Mary did a complete 180, going from a life of passion, gluttony, and filth, to one of virtue, light, and blessedness.
So many other virtues and life lessons that we can take from this great Saint, and if you have not already, be sure to go back and listen to the recordings that are on our facebook and youtube pages at home!
Even though the Church tends to focus on virtues of St. Mary in the written story of her life, there was a part of the account that truly stood out to me this year…one that before this year, I had not given much thought to. St. Zosima, the monk who met St. Mary in the desert, speaks about how it was an annual tradition in his monastery, for the monks to celebrate the Divine Liturgy on Forgiveness Sunday, go grab a small bite to eat, and then begin Great Lent with the service of forgiveness. After embracing the abbot and eachother, everyone would leave the gates of the monastery, and go out to spend all of Great Lent in the desert! They would all joyfully sing: “The Lord is my light and my Savior; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defender of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”. The monks would then take what little food they could with them, and go beyond the river Jordan into complete seclusion! If they saw one another, or came near to anyone, they would run away in the opposite direction! And just so the Church wasn’t left without the services, they would leave a few brothers behind at the Church, to sing the services “on behalf of all and for all.”
What a parallel that we find here in our own time! This entire pandemic that we all face, started right around forgiveness vespers, where, by God’s Grace and providence, we had a record number of people stay and participate in the service of mutual forgiveness. We made it through that first week of Lent, and then celebrated the Triumph of Orthodoxy Sunday, before all going into our own little deserts of seclusion at home. A small skeleton crew has been left behind at the Church to perform the Liturgies on behalf of the parish family, just like in the monastery. We even run away, like the monks did, whenever we see someone coming too close to us!
So here we find ourselves, each of us going through our own private spiritual battles, in our own little deserts. There are days when the sun is out, our spirits are lifted, and our stress level is low…and then there are days when we are struggling with the hardships of the wilderness, unsure of where to turn for comfort.
St. Mary went through similar spiritual struggles when she first went into the desert as well. She told Zosima how in the beginning of our journey, she was rocked back and forth with various passions and struggles with her internal demons. In her battles, she said there was only one way in which she was able to overcome them:
“When such desires entered me in my thoughts, I returned to the icon of the Mother of God that had received me…and to her, I cried in prayer. I implored my Mother to chase away the thoughts to which my miserable soul was succumbing. After weeping for a long time and beating my breast, I used to see light at last, which seemed to shine on me from everywhere…and after the violent storm, lasting calm descended.”
Brothers and Sisters in Christ, each and every one of us has had to fight and weather a different type of storm over these past few weeks. Some are fighting the lightning and thunderstorm of fear and panic of what is to come. Our first responders and healthcare workers are battling the fierce winds of disease, doing everything in their power to save lives, and safeguard those around them. Our Families are struggling with the financial storm that has wiped out jobs and income, while balancing the new challenges that come from having to homeschool their children. Government workers are fighting to the earthquake and aftershocks of their decisions, with the fear of the unknown hanging over their heads. All of us are finding ourselves in the midst of a spiritual battle, but regardless of what front we are fighting on, it is important to remember that we all find ourselves in the same desert.
I hearken back to that advice we received from St. Mary who said that when the storms were too much to bear: “I would always turn the eyes of my mind to my protectress, asking her to extend help to one who was sinking fast in the waves of the desert.”
What incredible advice for us in our own day and age! St. Mary tells us to seek refuge beneath the compassion of the Theotokos. Run into the arms of our mother! Light a candle, sit in the presence of her icon…and weep.
What other option do we have dear ones? To dwell on the negativity? To react to every piece of news with fear and panic? Do we let this virus destroy us from within? Or do we give all of it to our Mother, and allow her to be our calm haven, as she continues to pray to her Son for all of us.
“Beneath Your Compassion O Theotokos, we take refuge. Despise not our prayers in our moment of need, but rather deliver us from all dangers, for you alone are pure and blessed…Amen”